Yesterday as I sat in my favorite library in New York and watched people pass on the sidewalk while listening to my previous stand-up sets. It felt like I had just sat down, but then I realized that an hour had passed. One of those moments where time slipped by in a flash, surprising me with how quickly it’d progressed.
Let me affirm that listening to previous sets of my standup and weeding out the “potential” from the utter shite is one of my least favorite tasks. A cruel yet necessary task where I have to relive all the terrible “jokes” I said…very much like going to confession. “Bless me, Comedy Gods, for I have sinned. I thought that first-world bit was a ‘hot take.'” Reliving your mistakes over and over again to find the nuggets of gold…pure hell.
Why did the time pass so quickly? Is it because my unregimented schedule has made me quite good at filling the day with odd, unconventional tasks? Maybe. Mostly I felt really proud that I had started combing through old stuff…clearing out the clutter and keeping the useful pieces. Also because I surprised myself a little. I’m pretty harsh on my self most of the time, but yesterday some things that Past Suzanne said made Present Suzanne laugh! I sleep with that chick!!!
Realistically, I think time passed so quickly because I have fallen behind. See, I’ve got this show that I’m supposed to be writing…and I’m kinda behind; therefore, my procrastination has flowered tunnel-vision focus. Some people say it’s hard to set long-term goals and work toward them, but not me. I find it really easy to set long-term goals, then panic and ramp up my work pace about a month before the deadline…cursing all those documentaries I watched when I should have been writing. Focus flowers from fear of potential failure.
Oh man, Suzanne. I know! I’m surprised too!!! How did we get here?!
Well, in that vein, let’s crack on, shall we?
However, I appreciate you and your efforts. May they be greater than mine!