Waking up to no coffee is about as fun as waking up to your ex in bed. Can’t believe I did that to myself! Have my therapy sessions achieved nothing! I love Suzanne so much more now than I did a few months ago, and then I just go and neglect her coffee supply like some abusive partner!
“You deserve coffee when I say you deserve coffee!!!” Suzanne says to Suzanne.
However, in this hallucination, look how jacked Abusive Suzanne’s biceps are! Swole!!!
I underestimated my addiction to coffee until now, but bam! Foggy brain, sluggishness…even a keen desire for general lethargy! Plus, I like to think of coffee as a nice morning treat. I wouldn’t say that I have daily depression, but I certainly need a motivating factor to get out of bed in the morning. To pull off my eye mask, I need more than, “A new day presents endless potential!” *chirp, chirp*
I do wear an eye mask…my eyes are really sensitive to light…I’d have been a great rooster…
Or maybe I was a great rooster!!!
My life has shifted so that normally I get out of bed because I want to…not because I have to. When I used to have a corporate job, every day I got out of bed because I had to. The alarm went off followed by a big, “Argh…..” In contrast the one thing I did like about having to get out of bed was my company having to give me a paycheck. That was dope.
Is it selfish if you think your life is purposeful if you’re not saving orphans? I serve a purpose, but primarily my own purpose. Does that mean I’ve still got a lot to learn? Or am I actually ahead of the curve because I’m not some douchebag out doing Volunteer Tourism and ruining a lifestyle in Cambodia because I wanna feel good about hammering nails into wood? I think I would help a poor area more by just going around and depositing bags of cash through the windows. Maybe some people would get into fights; however, the village wouldn’t change its whole existence and exploit its people to draw in more Westerners to “build schools,” drink beer and gain Instagram followers.
Ironically, I’m being a douchebag right now! Don’t even need to go to Southeast Asia or Africa! That paragraph demonstrates the potency of my arrogance!!!
Have I answered my own question? Kinda. I think that sometimes when someone can be epic douchebag like me, then I serve humanity best by keeping to myself. People will reminisce, “Remember that time when we were able to talk person off the ledge because Suzanne just kept her goddamn mouth shut?! That was dope.”