I wonder how much time I spend inspecting my own skin. I look at my face every day in the mirror; I check my hands out as I write. Maybe that’s an instinctual thing because usually if something is really wrong with you (i.e. profuse bleeding), your skin will show it.
If I think about this existentially, which part of my existence do I inspect the most? Definitely my interactions with people…which indicates that something really wrong in my life shows first in social interactions. I get it…I imagine a friend looking at me saying, “OMG, you’ve got to stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time!!!
I’ve always thought of being emotionally independent as a good thing. What I mean is that you don’t rely on other people for emotional stability. Lolz…turns out that’s NOT the healthiest thing! That sounds silly, and I’ve heard the phrase, “Emotional island,” before; however, I pegged that for closed-off people who WANTED to get connected with other people. So me crashing my own ship in hopes to find an emotional tropical island is actually two steps back! YES! Who wants to date me now?!
I’m not totally lost because even writing this blog is a signal fire to a passing cargo ship (as in you, you reader, you…). But…on the other hand it’s weird to “emotionally connect” with strangers on the internet, and in fact MTV has a whole show on it called, “Catfish,” so…DON’T CONNECT! Sever the cord and appreciate this for what it is! Entropy generated on the internet!
Kidding! Be my friend! I’m WEAK!!!!! I NEED YOU!!!
Suzanne Lea Shepherd 