The Power of a Vest…

The other day I was crossing the street in front of a school, and because school had just let out, there was a crossing guard standing there.  I was carrying several heavy shopping bags and walking along, keeping a straight path, when these two 8 year-old-looking kids came running from around the corner.  They were headed right toward me, but because there were two of them, I couldn’t move because I’d be sure to run into at least one of them.  At the last second they separated to avoid collision, but then the crossing guard goes, “Hey lady!  Have some respect!!!”


Excuse me?!  I’m the one that’s not being respectful?!?!?!  I don’t have respect for two kids who are RUNNING across the street not looking?  What am I supposed to do?  Dislocate my shoulders and swing my bags so the kids don’t have to veer 12 inches from their projectile?  The kids weren’t babies!  It wasn’t like I stepped on an infant’s hand because it was lying helpless in the middle of a street crossing!

Also, Rodney Dangerfield was great, but there are a lot of ignorant pricks in Queens who think using Rodney’s lines makes them comedy gods.

I realize that this is the start of my hardcore spinster days (bonus: my polyester clothes collection is coming along nicely), but I don’t care.   I’m embracing spinsterhood and will continue to expect humans capable of reasoning to look where they are going.

The other reason I bring this up is that this is a classic case of being presented with a conflict, and doing nothing.  I didn’t stick up for myself; I didn’t tell the jerk of a crossing guard off…I did nothing except keep walking.  Oh, I’m sorry…did I say nothing?  Nothing except play that scenario over and over in my head for the last 4 days!!!

The sad thing is that even now I can’t think of anything clever to retort with.  If I typed the things I’ve come up with so far…you wouldn’t laugh.  You’d think, “Man, maybe she should have moved out of the way…those kids have way more hope than she does!”

Oh, and btw…in case you judged me for calling the crossing guard a jerk, let me just say that having a noble job does not inherently make one noble.  You still have to act like not an A-hole.

I also think this is a situation where someone was given the slightest amount of “authority” and has thusly abused it to the furthest extent.  I was in no way endangering kids; the guy just wanted to yell at someone.  He puts on that reflective vest, his back straightens, his nose upturns because now he’s an “official.”  Never mind the fact that the vest is too small for him to velcro around his stomach.  So many people with the smallest amount of power totally get their rocks off by being dicks and unjustly abusing other people.

Oh, I’m saying that with love.

Ok…enough of being a jerk myself.  As I’ve said, the reason this is really bothering me is because I’m disappointed I didn’t stand up for myself.  I feel like someone wronged me, didn’t respect me, and I did nothing to push back.


Don’t worry…I’ve got a therapy appointment this afternoon.

And on the 8th day…God gave man a Reflective Vest.




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