Seahorses…

I have this sneaking suspicion that seahorses are judging us.  They’re looking at us humans going, “Really?!  REALLY?!”  I say that because the male seahorse is the one that gives birth, so I imagine two little seahorses (pink and purple colors because equality) viewing humans from the ocean thinking, “How do these people still not get it? Males and females are equal!  You’d think after all this time…” as they swim away to go have salt-water caramel lattes.

Uh, in defense of humans, YOU DON’T CARE FOR YOUR YOUNG, SEAHORSES!  You just let ’em drift off, willy nilly!  Maybe if you stuck around more, you wouldn’t be such cold-blooded abandoners with a 0.5% infant survival rate.

That stat is from Wikipedia, so if it’s wrong…    ¯\_()_/¯

How many times a day do you feel inferior because of your sex?  Obviously any person can feel inferior for its sex, so I’m asking ALL of you.

I felt inferior today, but not necessarily because of my sex, but because I was handing out flyers.*

We obviously haven’t achieved gender equality yet, but my question is when?  Don’t you think there’s some sociology group that can use previous events to extrapolate to a point in time WHEN they think we’ll have gender quality?  Or are there too many unknown factors?  Or is there a huge spray-tanned orangutang smashing all the computers because we’ve had “science” in our society for WAY too long…

When.  I think that’s what everyone really wants to know.  If not now, when?  My friend’s late to dinner which sucks, but like, when is he gonna be here?  Maybe that’s the first piece of information you’re given when you die…you sit down with [insert your “God” here], and you’re told, “Omg!  You shoulda tried to stay alive a few more days!!!  Gender equality is totally hitting the streets next week!!!”  Then you spend eternity pissed.

Maybe that’s what’s stopping us all from achieving gender equality.  We keep thinking, “When?”, but really the answer is now.  Now, when…when, now!  There’s a great scene in ‘Spaceballs‘ where they have a similar exchange…I’ve transcribed it for you below…

screen-shot-2017-01-21-at-7-21-22-pm

Isn’t that creepy to read?!?!?!?!?!  Change those character names, and you’d have a current, 2017 discussion on your hands!!!

We’re trying, seahorses…right now.

img_7276

 

*It’s this thing that comics do to try and get you to come to the show.  It’s weird because you offer to make them laugh, and they look at you like condone everything the Kardashians do.

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