Sometimes I like to turn my phone into airplane mode just to make sure that there’s not a part of my mind cycling around the thought, “Someone might text, someone might call,” like a gerbil on an exercise wheel. Does that gerbil not wanna come out and have a little rest? Maybe a nap? Why does that guy just constantly wanna whir my head with the anticipation of being contacted?
I’ve definitely been conditioned to the sound of a buzzing phone. If I hear my phone buzz, then I basically cannot function until I’ve AT LEAST seen why. That’s why those fake notifications from Twitter are so annoying…pretending like they’re a news source. You’re not the buzz I want, Twitter!
I like being contacted…I like it very much. It gives me hope that my corpse will not one day rot into my bed. But I find it refreshing to not be available sometimes…to allow myself space from triggers. To me every message or notification is a trigger of some sort…some are good, some are bad, some are infuriating, and some are my friends’ faces made to look like rabbits…EVERYONE LOOKS CUTE AS A RABBIT!!!
When I put my phone on airplane mode, I feel isolated. I wouldn’t do it all day, but it’s a good time to check in with myself…see how Suzanne’s really doing. You eating enough? Do any exercise today? What are you looking forward to? I mean, what’s a healthy amount to talk to yourself? Isn’t it all ok as long as I don’t start thinking the world is a conspiracy?
Or have I entered Crazy Town?
Well, too late now, but it’s at least kinda fun over here! Look! A monkey riding a motorcycle!!!*
*one of my dad’s classic lines.