So…this is embarrassing to admit, but a couple weeks ago I downloaded a solitaire card game app on my phone. Is it still a “card game?” Anyway… I thought, “Eh, why not…I’ve normally got time on the train to zone out…” and man-o-man did I zone out. I was playing solitaire on the train ride home today, and the app informed me that, “You’ve earned a milestone!!!”
“YOU’VE PLAYED SOLITAIRE FOR 24 HOURS!!!”
I HAVE PLAYED SOLITAIRE FOR AN ENTIRE DAY!!!
Now, of course this was not all at once…it was over the course of, like I said, two to three weeks; HOWEVER, it seems completely unjustifiable that I’ve felt tired in that time because I clearly had a day’s worth of time available to sleep! I could have run errands…or, or…exercised!!!
To be fair a lot of my time playing solitaire was while on the train, so ok…not like I’m turning down gigs to play it. However, I am clearly turning down writing time to play solitaire. I’m turning down meditation time. I’m turning down time when I could just take a moment and say, “You know what Suzanne, you’ve done really well today, and I’m am proud of you!!!!” Instead I’m being defeated by the Queen of Hearts and her gangly gang of 51 other friends.
What’s happened to me? Am I that spinster that’s now playing solitaire waiting for death? Am I “over the hump?”
Seeing that notification was like a cold bucket of water to the face…a cold bucket of water shaped like an ‘L’ for “LOSER!!!”
Happy to report that I’ve deleted the app.
Yes, I will think about it. Yes, I will likely one day wish I hadn’t deleted it. But for those days that I feel like that, I will write about my feelings, and enter into a “Solitaire Anonymous” group that focuses on rehabilitating people who are addicted to grandma card games. My future best friend will be addicted to pinochle, and my future boyfriend will be addicted to gin rummy. And we will have an amazing life! Free of card games and only full of anxiety about how to fill the time between Astoria-Ditmars Station and Times-Square, 42nd St.